Monday, December 20, 2004
Smafty's Birthday
As many of you know I don't celebrate my birthday however that doesn't stop me from being nagged about celebrating it. Actually, I can be a real dick about it if looks like I got presents I return them, if I get the slightest sense that I someone will sing or something else I'll leave town.
On my 18th I decided to let my Dad and Step mother take me out, to be nice to them and they knew about my hating birthdays and not wanting to be made into a big deal. So they did the one thing I will never forgive, getting the fucking waiters and Waitresses to sing happy birthday to me. I told them if that kind of thing happens I'm leaving, they called what they thought was my bluff, they came over to sing and I picked up my coat and left, didn't see either one for about 11 months afterwards.
So you see they were in the wrong but I clearly overreached to the situation, if that were to ever happen again I'd be pissed and abruptly leave no different than when I was 18 but I know it's me just being an Ashley. Now if this were a girlfriend who did that, I can live with and obviously be on my best behavior but family, no dice.
So in order to be nice I have to bend a little, show I appreciate their gestures even if I repeatedly tell them to just leave me alone or celebrate one of the other 5 billion people on the planet.
My friends and family who wants to leave a message for me, I won't delete it.
But...
You have to put up with some introspection, HA HA!
This birthday is my 25th which officially marks the start of my mid twenties. God damn it's weird being twenty five already I don't feel any older than I did when I was in High school, it seems farther away and it's true that you cannot go home again but damn.
For the younger readers, I was told when I was 17 that no matter where you are in life when you hit 25 you're going to feel like you've accomplished nothing, there's nothing to show for that quarter century of your life and everything feels like a dead end and it is so true. The curse of the 25 has effected everyone I know, absolutely nothing is good enough to the image of yourself in your head, I believe this is an evolutionary trait; stay with me on this.
This sense of being a loser motivates you beyond almost anything to get going in a new direction or going faster, whatever. This sense is pushing you to be better than you are, to change, to expand, grow...Evolve?
It just feels like I could be doing more, professionally, personally and politically.
So there is your introspection, I hope you enjoyed it, please leave your birthday greetings underneath where it says comment.
|
As many of you know I don't celebrate my birthday however that doesn't stop me from being nagged about celebrating it. Actually, I can be a real dick about it if looks like I got presents I return them, if I get the slightest sense that I someone will sing or something else I'll leave town.
On my 18th I decided to let my Dad and Step mother take me out, to be nice to them and they knew about my hating birthdays and not wanting to be made into a big deal. So they did the one thing I will never forgive, getting the fucking waiters and Waitresses to sing happy birthday to me. I told them if that kind of thing happens I'm leaving, they called what they thought was my bluff, they came over to sing and I picked up my coat and left, didn't see either one for about 11 months afterwards.
So you see they were in the wrong but I clearly overreached to the situation, if that were to ever happen again I'd be pissed and abruptly leave no different than when I was 18 but I know it's me just being an Ashley. Now if this were a girlfriend who did that, I can live with and obviously be on my best behavior but family, no dice.
So in order to be nice I have to bend a little, show I appreciate their gestures even if I repeatedly tell them to just leave me alone or celebrate one of the other 5 billion people on the planet.
My friends and family who wants to leave a message for me, I won't delete it.
But...
You have to put up with some introspection, HA HA!
This birthday is my 25th which officially marks the start of my mid twenties. God damn it's weird being twenty five already I don't feel any older than I did when I was in High school, it seems farther away and it's true that you cannot go home again but damn.
For the younger readers, I was told when I was 17 that no matter where you are in life when you hit 25 you're going to feel like you've accomplished nothing, there's nothing to show for that quarter century of your life and everything feels like a dead end and it is so true. The curse of the 25 has effected everyone I know, absolutely nothing is good enough to the image of yourself in your head, I believe this is an evolutionary trait; stay with me on this.
This sense of being a loser motivates you beyond almost anything to get going in a new direction or going faster, whatever. This sense is pushing you to be better than you are, to change, to expand, grow...Evolve?
It just feels like I could be doing more, professionally, personally and politically.
So there is your introspection, I hope you enjoyed it, please leave your birthday greetings underneath where it says comment.
|
